


As Equals

by caecily



Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Hand of Thrawn Duology - Timothy Zahn, Star Wars Legends: Thrawn Trilogy - Timothy Zahn
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 08:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5490974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caecily/pseuds/caecily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thrawn survives Bilbringi, but he still can't stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Equals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [resperella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/resperella/gifts).



He has to force himself not to run from the command deck when his comm chimes. It wouldn't do to cause any of his crew to wonder what's going on. So he slows his pace, takes his time checking on his officers, even as it feels like a tractor beam is pulling him forward. Once he reaches the hanger bay, Pellaeon quickens his steps. There's no one here to see him rushing -- all personnel have been rerouted for this top-secret departure.

The shuttle he's looking for is still there, and the lone occupant is watching him with an amused smile.

"Come to see me off, Captain?" Thrawn says. His voice is smooth, showing no signs of distress, but the way he's leaning on the command console for support betrays his fatigue.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, sir," Pellaeon assures him. "Are you sure you don't want to take anyone else with you? I can give you our most discreet pilot. Or a medic, at the very least." In Pellaeon's opinion, Thrawn shouldn't even have been out of sick bay in this state, much less piloting his own shuttle. The way Thrawn had looked after Rukh's attack -- Pellaeon still feels sick just remembering it.

Thrawn smiles faintly. "Thank you, Captain, but I'm afraid this a journey I must make alone." He looks out the viewport. "There's another threat out there, far greater than the Rebels. _That_ is why we need a strong, central, organized government -- not to seize power for its own sake, but to protect this entire galaxy. I need time to recover, but also to investigate our true enemy." He turns back to Pellaeon, eyes flashing. "We haven't lost the war, far from it. But we are now positioned for a more protracted campaign than I had planned for, and meanwhile our real enemy is growing stronger."

"Could you at least tell me when we can expect your return?" Pellaeon asks, thinking of the chaos in the Empire sown by Thrawn's apparent death. He'd followed his orders, keeping Thrawn's survival absolutely secret, but that didn't mean he _agreed_ with them. "The Fleet needs you, now more than ever."

"The Fleet is more than just one man," Thrawn says, shaking his head. "It will -- and must -- survive the fall of any one man. The fortunes of war may change at any time -- the Empire will only survive if it can adapt when it faces the impossible."

He wants to argue, but Pellaeon knows his duty. "Yes, sir," he says instead, but Thrawn hears the argument he's repressed.

"Or, perhaps, you have more personal reasons to wish for my return?" Thrawn says idly, one blue-black eyebrow raised. Pellaeon startles and swallows, hard.

He'd tried to hide his admiration, but he should've known better than to keep anything from the Grand Admiral.

"Sir, I--" It goes against every instinct in his body to keep meeting that even gaze, but he forces himself not to look down.   "I never meant to trouble you with my feelings, sir. I apologize for my indiscretion."

"At ease, Captain," Thrawn says, and to his amazement he feels the lightest touch of Thrawn's fingers on his wrist. The contrast between his blue skin and Pellaeon's own is mesmerizing. "Your attentions are not unwelcome, but I would never put one of my subordinate officers in that position."

"Of course, sir," Pellaeon says quickly. "I never expected--" He stops when Thrawn holds up his hand. He's still holding Pellaeon's wrist with the other hand, a small gesture that speaks volumes. 

"When I return," he says softly, "it will be when you are my equal, and we will resume this conversation then."

"I -- look forward to it, sir," Pellaeon manages, the only response he could possibly make, and Thrawn smiles. It's a gentle smile, not the one he makes at military victories, but more akin to the way he looks at the art in his command room.

"Until we meet again, Captain," Thrawn says, a clear dismissal, and Pellaeon salutes and leaves the shuttle.

The shuttle pulls smoothly out of the _Chimaera_ 's hanger bay and into hyperspace, taking with it the most brilliant mind Pellaeon has ever known.

\---

After the imposter Flim, Pellaeon had worried whether this too would be a trick. Or if he'd even be able to tell the difference, after this many years.

But as soon as he meets those glowing red eyes, he _knows_ , and the years fall away from him in a moment.

"Grand Admiral," Pellaeon says reverently, because Thrawn has always been -- and always will be -- _the_ Grand Admiral to him. "I can't tell you how happy I am to see you again."

"Admiral," Thrawn says warmly, and the moment is so surreal that Pellaeon feels that he must be dreaming for a second. "I must congratulate you on your considerable achievement with this peace treaty. You had the vision to do what needed to be done."

He's imagined this moment a hundred times, but he'd always thought that Thrawn would be disappointed, in how he'd failed the Empire. He'd never expected Thrawn's approval.

"I only wish that I had served the Empire better. To have been worthy of the trust you put in me."

"You never failed me," Thrawn says simply, taking Pellaeon's hand in his own. Pellaeon is dimly aware of Captain Ardiff escorting the other junior officers from the briefing room.

"There was one other matter that we did not finish the last time we met," Thrawn says, and Pellaeon chokes back a laugh. As if he could forget. "May I inquire if your feelings remain the same?"

Stars, if Thrawn only knew-- every promotion he's received, every victory he's accomplished has been for this moment. To meet as equals.

"Yes," he says, hoarse. "And you?"

"I have worked with many officers, some of the best in the Fleet," Thrawn answers. "But none of them as dear to me as you." He releases Pellaeon's hand, to cup his face instead. With deliberate sureness, he strokes one thumb along Pellaeon's mouth. He moves the same way he had commanded the Fleet: precise, calculated, overwhelming.

"Permission to act, Admiral?" Thrawn says in a low voice.

"I am fully at your command," Pellaeon says, and means it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I like to imagine that in this universe, Pellaeon still becomes the Chief of State of the Imperial Remnant, but Thrawn as the Supreme Commander for the Galactic Alliance, and Yuuzhan Vong doesn't know what's hit it. And also all my faves survive the war.


End file.
